Swimmers and Floaters

Swimmers and Floaters

You may have heard the saying “there are 2 people in the world” before and it’s a lot of different variations that follow. Sometimes it’s followed by “People who wish and people who do” or “Ones who make things happen and those who watch things happen” etc. So one day I was sitting home watching a TV show and in the show it was somebody drowning in this river. So as this person kicked away panicking in the river about drowning because they couldn't swim, I started having these random thoughts. So in typical white people movie plots, some person comes out of nowhere and jumps in and saves the person. White people are so damn heroic in movies! They will save a kitten in a volcano! Any way back to the topic.  So after the person saves the person, he asked are you ok? Why were you in the river if you can’t swim? So the lady looks at him and says “I don’t know... I guess I just wanted to get away”. So the rest of this conversation became irrelevant to me as this movie actually was fucking garbage. So trash, I didn't even finish it and don’t even remember the name of it but it was on Netflix. That scene made my mind go into work mode and that’s when I created my own concept on the 2 different people in the world. Its swimmers and floaters! I’m going to break down the differences between the 2 and it may be certain times in life when people can swim and float but for the most part, I would say the majority of the people in the world will fit into one or the other.

I have a different type of mind this I know. I think about different things and I try to look deeper into things. Sometimes I shouldn't even care, but I like to think about what a person may be trying to communicate vs what they are actually saying. My little brother died drowning by attempting to save another kid. My little brother died being a real hero not a white person movie hero where they fight big ass transformers or anything. So me knowing he gave his life helping another kid, I think “if dead bodies can just float to shore, if that kid wouldn't have panicked and just relaxed he would've saved his and my brother life.” That may not be cool to say, but it’s true. People panic in situations and sometimes make it worse when they could just be still and at least survive. So if you were stranded out in the middle of a lake and was too just be still and not make any moves, you could survive! You would just float to wherever the waves take you. You may float out there in that lake for weeks but eventually you will float to a shore somewhere. Where? Who knows because you are just floating along to where this wave takes you. You are not putting in any effort to control where you’re going because you’re just trying to survive. In your mind, all you are thinking about is making it out of this river and surviving. You don’t care how you make it out or where you end up at as long as you can survive. See a floater could be floating and see the land and maybe have the thought of “Maybe I could just swim to that land” but they won’t because they are very comfortable with floating. I mean they've floated this far by just going with the waves so why change now? Floaters will always survive, they will just always have little control on how they survive. Everything about a floaters mind set is comfort and surviving. It’s no chances or risk being taken. They float in all aspects of life. Goals, careers, dreams, relationships, knowledge, etc. A floater is the person that may get offered a new job and stay put at the old one because it’s something they know. A floater may keep friends around who they know are bad people because they are comfortable with them. A bad relationship because they are not sure what a good one could feel like and because they are comfortable with their expectations in the bad one. In the big scheme of things, it’s nothing wrong with being a floater because at the end of the day you will survive… unless you run into a big ass shark who eats you alive! Now you done floated your ass into jaws and jaws will fuck you up! Ok… I’m kidding but a floater will always find a way to live. But a swimmer? Will fight to live!

The other type of person in the world are swimmers! See swimmers live by a whole different mentality. A swimmer don’t believe in just floating to wherever the waves will take them, the swimmer rather control their own destiny and GO to the land! See a swimmer will rationalize in their mind if I swim this way it may be a hard journey and it may not be easy to get there, but I am swimming over there to get out of this water. See a swimmers mentality isn’t to survive, but to live. They are not concerned with the easy routes of survival, yet they are all about adapting to change in order to live. They might back stroke, they may swim under water, and they may frog swim, but no matter what they need to do to get to that land that they want? They will attempt to make it happen! A swimmer fully understands they might not make it to that land and they may fail in the process but the swimmers also believes if they don’t fail it’s much more rewarding to know they went and got what they wanted. Swimmers have aggressive mentalities about things they want. Swimmers are willing to lose to win. They accept and run to change that they deem is worth the risk. It’s a risk to swim to land but it’s a worthy risk in order to live. Swimmers take the risk of maybe being wrong because they deem it worth it. When a swimmer fail? They fail big! They fall on their face hard, but when they win? They win big! Swimmers are always looking for a way out of the water to get back on land and once they are on land? They probably will figure a way to own the water they just got out of. Swimmers don’t wait they swim! If physically swimming is one of the most excruciating exercises you could do, why wouldn't mentally swimming be the same way?

Look at it this way, Floaters may buy a McDonald's restaurant ….. Swimmers would create Google. McDonald's is easy and will make you profits if you own your own McDonald's…but if you create the next Google, Apple, Facebook, you would laugh at a person who owns a McDonald's. Not that the floater isn't successful, it’s that the swimmer is willing to do what a floater isn't. Willing to swim for their happiness not float to it. Willing to take a chance and create what they want rather than find the easy way. Floaters think about change, but swimmers create change. Both floaters and swimmers may want to grow but its different levels and different ways to go about it. You could take the risk or do it the easy way. It’s a natural action to grow. You grow from the time you’re born physically. As you live life you should grow mentally. Things I used to enjoy, don’t give me the same enjoyment anymore because I've out grown them things. Thing about growing is you have to admit to yourself that you can longer fit the shit that you’re in. You can squeeze yourself in an uncomfortable situation all you want or you could quit short changing yourself and go get something you fit better with and be comfortable. I had a conversation once where I asked a girl would she swim for me. Her answer was she don’t know if she could swim. I respected that! I asked another girl would she swim and her answer was we can swim to wherever you want! Just the differences in people.  Floaters may attempt to squeeze, swimmers make the investment. Floaters think about the risk… Swimmers think about the rewards. A swimmer isn't scared of the possible failures… and even though at times a swimmer may use the technique to float to save energy, they will not live their life based off floating the same as a floater will not live their life off taking risks. So the question is…..are you a floater or a swimmer?

Bum Ass Niggas Is Winning

Bum A** N*ggas Is Winning

So as I sit at my desk at work, I hear my text notification on my phone go off. Now this is really nothing out of the ordinary because my damn phone is always going off for one reason or another. So I grabbed my phone and it's one of my female "friends". ( Ya know I don't believe in that male/female friend shit. You're either fucking or one of ya is waiting for the other person to allow you to fuck. That is a another topic that i will cover at another time. ) Now I'm sure I've shared this before that most of my home girls come to me like I'm Dr. Phil with their man problems. Now typically, I'll listen and give them my honest opinion on whatever they want to run by me. I think most of them do like my perspective because I'm always going to be brutally honest with them and not hold any punches. I am that person to tell her "because you stupid as shit for him and he knows it so he takes advantage of your emotional ass." Yes I know, a little harsh? But hey somebody has to be honest with you because I've come to realize most of the times your girls don't. They just want to play support system to your ass but it's not their fault because most of them suffer from the same personality as you. So as I'm reading yet another one of my home girls 6 page text moaning and complaining about the latest bum ass n*gga she is dealing with, I got instantly irritated. I had already been in a slightly irritable mood any damn way but this text just raised my irritation to red. Now at this very moment I had a epiphany! All these years I have had this all wrong! What hit me was, why do every dude my home girls want to run by me be the most not shit ass n*ggas? Why don't they ever run by me with some sh*t that I can be like "Oh that dude sounds cool! I think you should rock with him." Nope... Never! I would say they just have shitty ass taste, but I hear girls talk all the time and the stories always sound very similar. So this got me to thinking about a lot of things and I came to the conclusion.. Bum ass n*ggas? Is winning!

So before I really get into the breakdown of this, let me share a story that will all make sense later. I may have even told this story in a previous blog or maybe not....ahhh who gives a fuck if i did just listen again. So one time years ago, I was at work in the break room. So 2 black women ( One who eventually became the mother of my child ironically) came in the break room as I sat there eating some dinner I had cooked the day before. So one walks in and say's " oooo that looks good! I didn't know you had a woman!". So I looked up and said " I don't!" So her response was " well who cooked all that for you?". So with a look of what in the fuck do you mean sprouted all over my face I said " Me! I didn't know I needed a woman to feed me a home cooked meal." So after a couple comments back and forward with them, one of them ask me "Do you date black girls?". Now typical Quis almost called her a dumb bitch.. almost.. I felt it slidinggggg down my tongue to be like "what in the fuck? You a ole dumb bitch! Wtf you think?" But instead, I took a different approach and got curious to why would these 2 black women assume I didn't date black girls when I have only seriously dated black women my whole life. Now I have fucked on everything under the sun except a midget bitch but I will eventually knock that off too but I have never been committed with anything else. So their response was " Because you just too all together and stuff. Like you got your own crib, car, job, you're well spoken, you cooking for yourself..." So once again I'm sitting there with this confused ass look on my face. As they are running off all of these traits of a black dude who only dates white women, It started to hit me. They don't think they deserve a dude like me! The killer part about this was to me, I was just a pretty basic n*gga. I worked, handled my sh*t, made sure I obtained a certain lifestyle, I think I was working 2 jobs at the time and I was single just living and chilling. Pretty normal but for some reason, this all pointed towards he probably one of them dudes who dates white girls. Later come to find out one of them black women was kind of a runner ( slang for whore ) and the other was dating a drug dealer who eventually got locked up. Yea you guessed it.. my bm! smh So this even confused me more on why would it be assumed I wouldn't fuck with black women? Especially being that this wasn't even the first time I had heard this.

Now let's back track a little bit with this because it's important to try to figure out where in time did our black women go wrong with picking the men they choose to love. I think this sh*t goes all the way back to slavery. During slavery, It was a conscious effort made by plantation owners to demasculate ( Yea i made it up so!) the men of our families. They would try their hardest to break them down right in front of their women and children in order to create a complex in women mind's that your man is weak. Your man isn't strong enough to make sure you and your kids are safe and taken care of because he can't even make sure he is safe. LOOK! LOOK! You dirty black bitch LOOK at what I'm doing to your NIGGER husband! He is nothing! He needs you! But guess what? You can't save him!" So overtime this notion of maybe I don't need him and I alone can be strong enough for the family started to exist. I think we can all admit that at some point women most definitely came into their own as providers and what not. But you know what else happened? That whole notion of he needs you, he is nothing and you can't help him? Started to kick in on you too! If we fast forward to the crack era when males were basically enslaved again similar to the slave trade, but instead of a plantation owner grabbing a man and doing something in front of the women and child, they allowed the drugs to do it. The drugs made men look weak yet again or the men felt strong enough to do things in the streets and got they silly ass locked up but either way still once again leaving the women with this notion of I'll have to be strong for the family by myself. So even though women have this strong sense of I can do it on my own, they also share this sense of "he needs me and I have to help him because he will be nothing." Women think they can elevate a man to his highest self... you know for you slow chicks, women think they can upgrade a man. Well newsflash, you could never elevate a man to his highest self because not even Beyonce elevated Jay-Z because Jay-Z was already Jay-Z.

" We are better than you.." Patrice O'neal. Those are words from my favorite comedian ever! He had this conversation recorded discussing men just being better than women historically speaking. Now I know what's going to happen right now, all of you independent brain washed from slavery ass women is already in your feelings talking about "Ain't no man better than me!"..... Shut the fuck up! See that's your god damn problem! Pay attention and your stubborn ass might learn something. Let's have a totally hypothetical but true conversation. ( concept taken from Patrice ) If you take a King of a nation, any nation you want to use and that King went to Walmart and fell madly deeply in love with the cashier and wanted to marry her? Do you know what that woman would become? Yep! A fucking Queen! That man just by loving this woman who spends 40 hours a week bagging up deodorant and wife beaters have just became the Queen of a entire nation and will be recognized as so by all. Him loving this woman elevated her to the highest level of woman she could possibly reach and that is a Queen! She will give birth hopefully to the Prince and the chick who formally bagged your Dove soap is now royalty! Now on the flip side, if a Queen walked into Walmart and fell madly in love with a man working the register do you know what he becomes if she married him? Yep..NOTHING! He is just the ex Walmart employee who is bending over the Queen. She can't elevate that man to his highest self to where it's recognized and accepted by all. She might accept him as HER King, but he is no King to anybody else. Just a n*gga who got the Queen DICKstracted in her life decisions. So if even a Queen can't elevate a man to his highest self? How in the fuck do you think you can? "Ain't no man better than you." that's because you fucking with these Walmart cashier's instead of a man that can elevate you to your highest self. Your man SHOULD be better than you!! It's not your job to be better than him or to keep thinking you can save his ass. Before one of you smart ass women get on some shit like what about Oprah? She is a billionaire, super successful, powerful and all of that other shit right? So the question is why isn't she married? Because she understands she would have to be elevated by her man and don't none of them super rich n*ggas want Celly from the color purple. More importantly, do anybody give a flaming fuck about Stedman? All you know about that n*gga is he is the n*gga fucking Oprah. Nobody knows what he does and nobody really even gives a f*ck. She can't make no power couple with no damn Stedman and if she married him nobody would give a damn because he don't elevate her as a woman. But Ray-J put his dick in Kim K and recorded it and launched this bitch into worldwide stardom. That is called elevating!

Which brings me to my next thought, why in the fuck is women so damn loyal to these bum ass n*ggas? A bum ass n*gga can be unemployed all the damn time, can whop on your ass, can break you down mentally, etc and a woman will stick by his damn side no matter what! Not saying she wouldn't maybe go fuck on another n*gga or do little sh*t like which honestly don't mean nothing to her because she has absolutely no plans to leave her bum ass n*gga alone. So my question is why? Why the loyalty? Why the commitment? Then it hit me!! Women like fixing and changing shit! See us men? We don't REALLY like to fix shit we enjoy customizing shit. We like to buy our car already set but maybe we throw on some rims and some tints and we good. We like to buy our house already with the finish basement so we can throw a pool table in it and we are good. Even our women, we like her to already kind of have her shit together and we just kind of customize a couple things to fit our personalities and we good. Bum ass n*ggas though? Oh they customize ya as well to fit their personalities but they customize ya to be easily manipulated. It's 2 words that will make almost any woman fuck up what they know make sense in order to save her bum ass n*gga. Family and Love! Women get weak to that sh*t because it's embedded in a woman brain how important both of those things are and a bum most def know how to use that sh*t! Oh and don't let a n*gga pull a tear out on her ass...what? Nigga gone! You may not only save your bum ass living situation for another lease, but you will probably get some pussy that night too. See bum ass n*ggas have everything in life a bum can ask for. They typically have free room and board, very little responsibilities, total loyalty from their women, hot meals and in some cases these n*ggas even get allowance. I mean damn! The reason this can all happen is because women loves to fix and change shit! See when a woman buy's a home she say things like " baby I like this layout, maybe we can just get granite tops for the kitchen and change the shower heads." N*ggas don't care nothing bout no damn shower heads! Women do things like change the house around every couple months just to feel like she fixing and changing something. A n*ggas crib will look the exact same way for 17 years with the only changes being made is his damn TV.

Women will take her bum ass n*gga and attempt to help him because women love a damn project. One thing no girls in school did bad on was projects. Give their ass a paper? Might not do it. Give their ass a test? Might fail. Give their ass a presentation? They skipping class. Give their ass a project? N*gga they will Ace the fuck out of that shit! Chicks love projects so much, they create them shit's and try to give them little professional names. Like.... Makeovers! They will take their ugliest damn friend they know and make over her ugly ass for a project. Now they understand how ugly the b*tch is, but they can't help but take on the challenge of fixing her ugly ass. So if a woman will make over her ugly "bff" why wouldn't she make over her bum ass n*gga? Women look at their bum ass n*ggas like investments. If she has spent time, years and money into this bum ass n*gga? She will be damn if another b*tch EVER reaps any of them benefits from her project. Remember in school if people was like that was nice, the girl will be the first one to say "Nobody helped me i did it by myself". Women are not sharing anything because they're selfish about their projects. When a woman do let a project go and the next chick start on that project but can't fix it either? She get's a kick out of it. Like hahaahahaha bitch you can have him! That's only because he still a bum,  but let that bum n*gga win and even though he still may be a bum, pick up a better person working on his ass? I can guarantee you will see nothing but shade and hate from his ex. See women look at their bum ass n*ggas like Jesus. He don't have to show her a good man in him really EXIST, he just have to show her just enough for her to have FAITH that it is in there! A woman will hold tight to the good things in her bum ass n*gga just like a christian will giving praises to Jesus when they get a bonus check from work as if the other 720 employees didn't get that same check from the company for reaching their sales goals. Women praise their bums for all the minor sh*t they do because hey it gives them faith that he can change.

So in conclusion, I have realized there isn't no competing with these bum ass n*ggas. They're winning! It's a losing fight to ever think you can give advice, take her from her bum ass n*gga....well unless you got super long paper. Oh a bitch will not leave her bum for a better n*gga but she will for a rich n*gga! I had it wrong all of these years thinking that women want good men. They say all that sappy bullshit about they want a good man, who loves them, makes them laugh, bla bla bla. Bullshit! What the majority of these women now a day's truly want? Is fixable bums! Which brings me back to my story earlier about work. The reason they assumed I didn't fuck with black women was because I didn't seem fixable. "My shit was too together". A bum ass n*gga can show a woman just enough positive qualities that she think eventually he can be a full time good guy and her project is complete. But everything has good qualities and bad qualities. It's been serial killers who was devoted family men who raped and killed women in their spare time. Does that make them good people because they were great with their kids? See women being with these bum ass n*ggas have nothing to do with the bum ass n*ggas they constantly complaining about, but has way more to do with them feeling proud of their project! They just want to say "look i fixed it." I have been that homeboy to tell certain homegirl's "Yo you deserve better for yourself", but you know what? No you dont! You deserve exactly what you're dealing with. Because the truth is, only bum ass b*tches will remain loyal to bum ass n*ggas! Beyonce isn't upgrading or remaining loyal to no bum ass n*gga. She got ya talking all this bills, bills, bills, type shit while she catering to a n*gga who is better than her! It's not about your man being rich or nothing, but your man should ALWAYS be better than you because we are made to elevate the women we love! What the fuck is a n*gga underneath you going to elevate you to? All he will continue to do is bring you do to his bum ass level!!

Needs and Wants

Needs and Wants

Men think we know what women want and women think they know what men want. We both have these pre conceived notions on what the opposite sex needs to be happy. We both think we know the things to do that will keep our significant others happy and content. Some of us even think you can pretty much run the same script on woman after woman and male after male. Some of you are right because a lot of people are very simple minded and you can pretty much manipulate most people if you can read them. Then it’s other people who rather not manipulate you at all and be honest and upfront with each individual they come across. So if there are basic rules that you can do with different people, are there some things that is pretty consistent across the board as far as what each sex wants? YES! Now I’m going to give you all some game. The differences between man and woman are simple. Women move off wants, while Men move off need. If you don’t understand this concept, you will never truly be able to keep a person you’re in a committed relationship happy. Its things across the board that damn near every man needs and every woman wants.

Women have very simple and complex wants, but these wants are absolutely essential to keeping her happy. What does a woman want you may ask? Just that! A woman wants to be wanted! You think women put make up on, buy all these damn clothes, bags, accessories, big ass glasses to just look good for her? Please! Women insecure as hell and no matter what she wearing she will always see her flaws and imperfections no matter what she says. All it takes to make your girl day after she got her hair done is a simple “damn baby you looking beautiful with that style”.  Women love the feeling of being wanted and lusted after. They love the feeling of walking into a room and knowing every guy is looking at them. They love the feeling of being somewhere and knowing a guy can’t take their eyes off of her. Now don’t confuse this with a woman wanting to give that same attention back to every guy, but no matter what she says about dudes being thirsty or whatever other adjective she wants to use? She loves and craves that attention! Women get an emotional boost from the feeling of being wanted by men. Does this make her an attention seeking chick? No it just makes her a woman! So as her man, it is your  job to also make her feel as wanted and appreciated as possible because you better believe every time she walks out of the door there is another dude giving her that feeling. It doesn’t even matter if that feeling is genuine or not, it’s the feeling a woman crave. A woman will feel a since of attachment to a man who she feels love and want her. A woman can know you love her but if she doesn’t feel wanted? She will wonder. You have to and I know this is hard, make your woman feel like new p*ssy everyday of her life. Women don’t need to feel needed just wanted. She just needs to feel chosen in comparison to the next woman because most women are selfish and very competitive.  You have to make that woman feel more wanted than any other walking species on the face of planet earth because her feeling wanted will make her feel you are needed.   

Which brings me on to us as men and ladies what your man need?  Just that! He needs to be needed! The problem with 2014 females is too many damn Beyonce songs of being independent. Being independent is great and awesome for a woman. It’s great she can take care of herself and she can do for herself. I’m sure every man loves a woman who can hold down the Fort if need be, BUT we don’t care to hear about your independence. No man wants to hear that “ N*gga leave I don’t need your ass” sh*t. Why? Because as a man that’s one of the most disrespectful things you can say to us. If you don’t need us just leave us! Men like the feeling of being needed by his woman. We like the feeling of knowing our woman will put us over the next person because she feels she needs us. Men for the most part don’t necessarily care as much about the feeling of being wanted as you do needed. Why? Because we kind of egotistical creatures that feel all these chicks want us even if she don’t even know you exist. We stupid like that, but we don’t feel every woman needs us. A smart woman will never demean a man she loves to make him feel less needed because she understands the way a man minds work. See if a woman is NEEDED by her man? Then he is probably a bum who can’t do anything for himself without her. Now if a man is NEEDED by his woman? It means she could probably do things without you but she would rather do and share everything with you!  Our needs differ as well and sometimes what we need as a man might come across as a want to you but trust and believe that may be a very important need. See a man with a good woman knows she doesn’t need us, but we want her to never tell us she doesn’t need us. The same as a woman may know a man wants her, but she also want HER MAN to TELL her at times he wants her!

See we as men don’t know how to let our women know they are wanted because we feel we look lame, soft or thirsty, while women don’t know how to make their man feel needed because they feel it will look like they dependant or clingy. There is not a problem with making a person you love feel wanted and needed. We as men love the feel of new p*ssy right? Well women get the new p*ssy feeling from new compliments.  Just like if we aren’t sexually fulfilled we will look for new p*ssy, if they aren’t emotionally fulfilled they will look for new compliments. Trust and believe nobody wants or need anybody else offering new box or compliments to the person they love.  

Fighting Happiness

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